"I like you. I'll gladly sit down and have dinner with you after the race. But when the gun goes off, I pretty much hate you, and I want to stomp your guts out. That's racing." -J Rapp



"the best night of my life.....
...in the most beautiful place on earth"



"It's just one, long, tedious conversation with yourself" -Paula Newby Fraser






"Have faith- trust in the plan - the breakthrough will come. I promise. " Woo




"You can keep going and your legs might hurt for a week or you can quit and your mind will hurt for a lifetime.” -Mark Allen




“The only time you can be brave is when you’re afraid.”


Saturday, January 15, 2011

PF Changs....and conversations within.

So it's friday morning and less than 48 hours till PF Changs Marathon.  I have a 3 hour "base" ride today, but then rest is in store until the gun goes off---oh, and throw in a birthday party tomorrow at the house---hardly rest, but we'll make it work!  I'm not expecting miracles, and anything flirting with 3:00 would make me happy with the training I didn't do and the fact that we are in "pre-season" mode.
So what does this race in Kona mean to me?  After starting triathlon in the early 90's, names like Allen, Scott, Newby Fraser, and the likes were my heroes.  There was no internet, just Triathlete Magazine, my training buddies, and that was it.  I was very fortunate to be in Davis (UC DAVIS for college).  I crossed paths with Dave Scott from time to time---we worked out in the same gym...  I am yet to see a human specimen in as good of shape as He was.  I remember him doing seated quad raises, seeing every strand of his quads fire as he worked out...the year was 1991.  So from then on I was hooked into the sport, not because of his quads, but because of the commitment and challenge the sport requires, and that it is truly a "you get out of it what you put into it" sport.  I've seen every Ironman TV special since, have cried numerous times watching it, sometimes because of the special interest stories, and sometimes just because I was imagining what it would be like to tread at the start, hit the turnaround in Hawi, run on Ali'i Drive, hit the Energy Lab, and then the finishing shoot.  I've seen 1000's of photos/videos of competitors as they finish that last mile---it has to be one of the most fantastic moments in a persons life---imagine thinking about that for 15 years, add in the fact that I was away from the sport for 9 years thinking it was something I would never reach, and then imagine it is going to happen this October 8, 2011!  Good news for me is I thought I'd be a mess finishing IM AZ; I did lose it a few times on the run when I realized I was going to qualify, but I held it together and finished without a tear!  So who knows what Kona will bring out of me, "I imagine I will be a blubbering mess" (a quote I've heard on the TV Special over and over again).
With all of that, my family has seen me through this sport over the years..my dad's worry, my mom's support (and Inta's too!).  Yes I am more responsible about pushing the limits nowadays (IV drips hopefully are a thing of the past), but I think the training is the riskiest part...the race is a celebration of that hard work, whether it's a 5K or an Ironman.   Training and racing is a spiritual thing for me...it's not about results but more about what can I do with my body---physically and mentally.  My long runs and long rides are full of thought---sometimes trying to figure out the worlds problems, sometimes self help, and sometimes dreaming of the Queen K Highway---it was a delusion until November 21, 2011.   I am so blessed to have the life I live in, and there have been so many times I come home from a workout fresher than when I walked out the door for those reasons.   In a way this sport does really help me find who I am, what is important to me, and find what in life really matters and is significant---would you call this a religion?
I actually thought that I would not do another IM distance race after IM AZ.  The training was intense, overwhelming, and sometimes pushing me way beyond the limits I had set my own mind.  Breaking those limits has done more for me than I could have imagined.   Riding 300+ miles in a week down the California coast, throwing on my shoes and running for 2.5 hours at a good pace like it was no big deal....it has made some of life's other challenges so bearable and easy to overcome.
So here's to my support crew...you all know this has been a life long journey for me, and Kona is just one destination on it that I get to share with every one of you.  The race is less about a time or a result, but about seeing what I am made of, what I can challenge myself with, and what more can I get out of this life...and, "because it is there"...I have no desire to climb Everest, just to let you know I am still somewhat sane....

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